October 15th

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

I came across the October 15th website through a fellow infertility blogger.

This is a tender subject to my heart as most of you know.

I wish more than anything that I could hold my babies.

I never felt or saw them grow.

I never got to hold or snuggle them.

I never got to hear them cry.

I never got to wake up at all hours of the night to care for them.

I never got to hear their first words.

I never even knew whether or not my babies were a boy or a girl.

Baby #1 would have been two this December.

Baby #2 would have been 1 this past February.

My heart will always ache for the babies that I didn't get to know on this earth.

I pray that those of you who were blessed to give birth and have the sound of little feet in your house... That you don't take it for granted.

There are so many who ache and cry because they have been denied that blessing.

Kiss those sweet babies every day.

Don't complain when they keep you up at night.

And keep in mind those of us who have a broken heart and need you to be sensitive.

Some of us...

May never have those blessings.

And for those of us who lost those babies to early...

Set October 15th 2011 (and years to come)

To remember those babies that we won't watch grow and learn on this earth.

I'm so grateful for the gospel and the knowledge that I have.

My heart still hurts.

But I know that the savior loves me.

I know that he is mindful of me and my sorrows.

He knows my heart and my desire to bring special spirits to the earth.

I pray that I will be blessed.

Till then,

Please join me this Saturday to remember those babies we've lost.